I can wait.

This can wait.

In the end, it will all work out.

I can see it now. Wiener dogs and welsh corgis, a king size certified sleep number bed, and burnt dinners with delicious deserts. A little Asian art, shades of purple and yellow, and a double-headed shower. The latest and greatest gadgets with the most powerful PC on the market, and don't forget two phones that can do absolutely everything. We'll charge them right next to each other! Ebooks, paper books, throw in a little surround sound! Oh and of course that feeling of coming home. He will make me a better doctor, I will make him a better professional. And it will be hard and rough and perfectly imperfect. And it will be worth it.

Oh, believe me I can see it. And I want it. Or for the time being, I do. But here's the kicker.

This is no race nor sprint to the finish line. The victory is not sweetest if gained the most quickly.. Indeed, I think I'd rather work for it a little. Because if there's anything I've realized, it's this - when you want something too badly, chances are it won't turn out how you've planned. And for all of my fellow Type As.. this fact of life sucks. But it somehow works out too. I plan on breaking a couple more hearts, on nursing my own heart from it's shattered wreckage, on helping my friends to see the good that they sometimes cannot see in the themselves. I have a whole life to live, a whole life to love.

And I can wait.

And who knows? Perhaps in the time that I'm waiting and living and learning and loving.. maybe my vision will change. If it does, it does. I've given and received two years of love and life and lessons, and I have experienced the ups and downs, the emotions, the logistics, the butterfly-tummy effects of first love. And it has been more than I could ever ask for.